"Yo Adrian...My Movies Suck!"

As Rocky IV was playing last night on AMC, Tim Smith and I were discussing Rocky movies. I've had many an argument with various fools who believe that Rocky movies II-IV (everyone excludes V) were necessary. Part IV is absolutely retarded. I was doing one of my history tests today, and one of the questions was "What led to the end of the Cold War?" Well, Rocky Balboa was NOT one of the multiple choice answers. If you haven't seen it, Rocky gives this big, unifying speech to the Russians at the end, then "Hearts on Fire" plays as the credits roll. Rocky's sequels actually tainted a franchise that never should have even been a franchise. It seems like most people I've talked to believe that the ending of the first film was a let down. These are also the same choads who lined up to see Waterworld. The ending of the first one was one of the best conclusions I've seen (even though it is overly foreshadowed). They should've stopped there. They went up to part V, and actually cast that cock-gobbler Tommy Morrison as Rocky's protege. The Rocky franchise even "Badfingered" off of the popularity of Mr. T. "Badfingering" is a term named for the band Badfinger, who, as we all know, leeched off the success of the Beatles (namely Paul McCartney). After the first movie, Rocky movies just suck. I just want to close by saying that I think it is pathetic my second post is a bash of Rocky films, but I'm fucking boring, so what do you expect? However, this does give me a chance to unleash my Mr. T poem, so here goes:

AN ODE TO MR. T

People always stop to stare and to gawk
At a burley, black man with a Mohawk.
I’ve got so much gold, I make jingling sounds
While wearing my gold, I weigh 400 pounds.
A few years ago, I was on the “A-Team”
But I’m not as tough as that show made me seem.
I had a cartoon and a cereal too
But that ain’t nothin’ to laugh at you puny foo’!
In “Rocky III” I kicked Stalone’s ass
But in high school, I was never head of the class.
Now I’m in TV dinner and collect-call ads
And all the steroids I’ve taken have shrank my gonads.
But you’d better beware if you’re laughin’ at that
‘Cuz my fists will be flyin’ and your lips will be fat!
So I pity da’ fool that messes with me
‘Cuz I’m big and I’m bad. I’m Mr. T!


Hope you enjoyed. Keep it real!