Once Upon A Time in MEXICO

"A cool alias...plenty of cash...a fly-ass honey...DAMMIT! I knew I was forgettin' something!"


I’m sure we’ve all heard the tale by now of one Ron Mexico.

If not, here’s a brief: Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick was named in a civil lawsuit filed back in the middle of March. Allegedly, Vick gave a woman a little more than an autograph. She is suing Vick claiming that he gave her herpes. Apparently though, Vick can’t "score" off the field based on the fact that he is, after all, Michael Vick. He knew he needed a cool alias. He needed a failsafe…something that would make the ladies swoon and line up to get to him.

Only one name could’ve fit. It had to be….RON MEXICO! It was perfecto!

Well, can ya possibly guess what one of the top selling jerseys was for the NFL’s online store? That’s right….a number 7 Atlanta Falcons jersey with the personalized name “MEXICO” where the name "VICK" would normally reside.

However, the No Fun League once again stepped in as it saw either its fans or players enjoying themselves a little too much. The store quickly disallowed further purchases of the jersey, as they have set up the website to forbid the word “MEXICO” from jersey personalization. They also refused to fill the requests of buyers who placed orders before the story culminated to the point it’s at now and prior to the ban of "MEXICO" as a usable name for the personalized jerseys.

So, the Ima now sees what it takes to get the girls. It doesn’t take a good smile, kind heart, and decent personality. It just takes money, a cool alias, and a sexually transmitted disease.

For starters, I need an alias. From now on, for the purposes of big pimpin’, I am to be known as…..


SID URUGUAY.



P.S.- Here's an important message from Valtrex: There is no cure for herpes. Even with treatment, it may be possible to spread herpes.