Sun(ofabitch)Trust

I’m glad I signed up for online banking. Otherwise, I may have never known about the atrocity that was taking place.

Tuesday at work, during on of the slow periods, I was checking my accounts online. I bank with SunTrust. I have to keep tabs on my savings and newly acquired checking account. When I pulled up the info, I saw red (and I’m not referring to the piece of ass that lives down the street).

I had been charged nearly $30 for withdraw fees. $30 basically stolen from my account! The sight of this threw me into a ridiculous furor. I threw a damn fit.

I turned to the chick sitting beside me at work and blurted out my feelings on this situation:

“They charged me 30 fucking dollars for using my own money!” I yelled.

“Huh?” She said.

“I ain’t havin’ this shit!” I said. “That’s my damn money!”


Banks profit from investing the money that a customer puts into them. I know banks can charge fees for withdrawing funds, but I also know that not all banks charge for withdrawing. ‘Ol Ima will be damned if he’s gonna be charged for using his own money! It’s principle, baby!

Yesterday, on my lunch break, I began calling local banks. I was bound and determined to find one that does NOT charge fees for withdraws. I called Eastman Credit Union and asked one question:

“Am I gonna be charged for using my own money?” I asked.

“No,” the chicky replied.

“Then I’ll be by later. Ya’ll have got my business!”


Okay, I didn't exactly grill her.

So, after work yesterday, I went to ECU in Colonial Heights. I got there at about 5:20…they close at 5:30. I was thinking, “How long can it take to open an account?” I didn’t wanna become what I hate: those fuckers that know what time a place closes but come in at the last minute anyway to hold everybody past the normal time for them to leave. Of course, I became one, but only by 20 minutes. I opened a checking and savings account with Eastman Credit Union. BOO-YAH!

Now I haven’t closed my SunTrust account yet…that will done within the next couple of days.

In conclusion, I’m NOT gonna be charged for using my money. No way, no fucking how! I can’t wait to tell those greedy bastards at SunTrust to kiss my rosey, fat ass. Thieving shitheads!