A Taste of August

They're lined up...waiting to talk to me!

I’m up now because I completely crashed after work today. I got just a small taste of what awaits me in August.

The Financial Aid Office was abso-fucking-lutely slammed for most of the day. It was stressful. It was busy. People were actually coming in through the exit door after 4:30 as people left the office. It was that nuts. Man, today's experiences put the proverbial financial aid hair on my balls. Yes, it made a man of me.

Apparently, people lined up past the Admissions office is only a teaser of things to come. It’s getting busy and now I’m learning this shit as I do it more. However, I’m noticing some peeves are starting to rear themselves. Here’s a short list:

*I hate when I say “Hey” to the person waiting next in line and they just fucking stand there. This isn’t a restaurant and I’m not a greeter. I don’t say “Hey” to then point them to the next available Financial Aid worker. But I can’t say “Can I help you?” I dunno. I have a problem saying that. It, to me, makes it sound like I just wanna hurry up and get that person the hell out of the office and makes it sound like I don’t really care. I know that sounds dumb. Another reason I can’t bring myself to say it is the results it brings about….

*When I actually do ask “Can I help you?,” I become quite aggravated with the responses I receive. I hate when I ask it and the person waiting says “I hope so.” That means they’re gonna be fucking trouble and I will most assuredly have no clue what I’m doing. Another response I may receive is, upon asking it, the person waiting will then ask “Can I come over and talk to you?” or “Are you open?” Are you fucking kidding me? No, I just like saying “Can I help you?” to people waiting in line because I just love the way it sounds. Dumbasses.

*I hate the Lottery Scholarship. I was all for the lottery in Tennessee. I knew it would help a lot of students more easily afford school. That’s before I was bombarded with questions about it every single day. See, the Lottery Scholarship info was delayed in getting to the FA Office this year. Hence, this has created a shitload of panicky students because they’ve gotten no information on it. That’s understandable. It’s just created a lot more work for us. I think I just need to say “Bitch be cool” to some of these people, and they’ll chill out.

*I hate talking to parents. We’re not supposed to anyway unless the student is present or there’s a release form on file. I actually had one parent with student come in today and the mom, after asking about 33,000 questions, tried to sign paperwork for her daughter. I interjected “WHOA! She has to sign that.” Her daughter would try to ask something, but the mom would literally interrupt her and just talk over her. I think we should ban parents from the office. Ya know, it’s time for little Johnnie to grow his ass up. This ain’t high school anymore. He needs to start handling his own shit. We’ve actually got Graduate students whose parents call or come in for them to ask questions. Pathetic.

Despite all this, I really like the job. I’m super appreciative of it, and I know how beneficial it will be to me. I just like bitching.

The highlight of the day was during the morning. It was before it got busy, so I was playing games on the internet. Anyway, I look up and there stood my crimson coiffed muse. The best looking thing on Mead Trail (Clint in a wife beater is a close second, though). It was Red! Now, I jumped at the chance to help this chicky. I had to run to the back and get something for her. I was then pissed off at myself for not getting my lazy ass up to shower before work. While in the back, I slapped the Pimp Hand to try to wake it up and made an announcement that everyone up front could’ve heard. “RED’S UP THERE!” I yelled. Homegirl Erin had to go check her out….she knows I’m obsessed. So, I get done helping Red and she leaves. The girl working in the pod beside me asks “Brad, were you trying to flirt?” I said “Yeah, that was pathetic, huh?” The girl then said “Weeeellllllll....” I'm still waiting for Red to pick up that ball that's in her court...

It’s tough to get an idea of what goes on in the office just from reading this. It’s crazy shit! But keep those people coming. I'm pounding my chest right now just thinking about it, psyching myself up. I take your bullets!

God, I can’t wait until August!