Career blocks: 946...Subconscious Cock Blocks: 1

I have been having some crazy dreams lately. A couple of nights ago, I had by far the most disturbing one I’ve ever had. But last night’s was right up! I have to write about it. I remember my dreams most of the time, and I doubt I’ll ever forget this one. Here goes:

Me and my brother Kaud are in a store. It’s like a combination of Lowe’s and Ingle’s. On one side, there’s a grocery store and on the other is the hardware and home-type place. We were on the grocery store and loading up the cart. Kaud was pushing the cart and I was just walking around. Then, these two girls come over to us. So, we start hitting on them and it’s actually working (see, pretty obvious this is a dream for me, huh?). We’re all rico suave and shit with these girls. They’re laughing and really digging us and we’re getting ready to get their numbers.

Then, into the scene comes trouble. The worst cock block imaginable. The most dastardly, detestable human being from my early adolescence….














Scottie Pippen! The MOST overrated player in the history of basketball! When the NBA unveiled its top 50 players of all-time, they gave Dominique Wilkins the shaft to put this fucker on the list. If Chicago would’ve had Fat Lever playing Pippen’s position, they still would’ve won the titles. Pippen sucks.

So, this bastard starts macking on OUR women. He’s an athlete and he’s got money. Kaud looks like a chimpanzee and Opie had a child together. And as for me…well, let’s just say Pippen has an obvious advantage, despite the fact that it looks like his face got smashed by a damn cricket bat swung by one of these steroid-using assholes. Many times.

So, the girls leave with Pippen, interrupting the nocturnal emission that was a sure thing just dream moments ago. In the dream, I look over at Kaud and say “I really hate Scottie Pippen.” Well, Kaud and I then, dejected as we were, decided to leave the store. We walk around to the “Lowe’s” side to exit the store. On the way out, I see Red working at the counter there, wearing the blue apron, just like at Lowe’s. I wave at her and she waves at me, but we say nothing. I again look over at Kaud and say: “Ya know, Red’s first dream appearance was kinda disappointing.” (Like in the dream I know that I’m dreaming)

So, we walk out of the store (without paying). The store is actually in the middle of a college campus, I’m assuming ETSU because we were familiar with it, although it looked nothing like ETSU. Our eyes are greeted by the sight of an abundance of Fall leaves gliding to the ground in the breeze while lots of hippies are jumping around like ballet dancers.

End of dream.

I hate Scottie Pippen. I hope he hasn’t found a permanent place in my subconscious…I hope he doesn’t become my own personal Freddie Krueger!





(I think they a lot look alike to begin with.)