The Mental Edge

Smile, even though you know Ima's "Edge" is better...asshole!

Recently, my ability to stop smoking at anytime was questioned, challenged if you will, by homegirl Erin. I am adamant in my stance that I can stop whenever I want, without the use of patches, gum, Tony Robbins (plagiarizing bastard!), or any of those other parlor tricks.

“What’s his secret?” you’re probably asking yourself. Well, I have graciously decided to share my secret with all of you. It’s a simple philosophy that I have developed. That secret is….The Mental Edge. After I explain it, you will all be on your way to obtaining “The Edge.”

I am a firm believer that addictions and temptations are mental. The Mental Edge homes in on these addictions/temptations and ferociously attacks, like Mike Tyson at an ear buffet. Here’s how “The Edge” works: it’s all about ‘wants’ and ‘needs.’ For example, you will NEVER hear Ima say “I need a cigarette.” Simply won’t happen. What you will hear me say is “I want a cigarette,” but I will NOT use the word “need” when it pertains to the desire of something detrimental.

The Mental Edge is a weapon of undeniably awesome power. Here are a few more examples of when it can be utilized:

*I want a tasty double cheeseburger, loaded with carbs and artery-clogging goodness….BUT I don’t need a tasty double cheeseburger. I instead need a salad. (See, the need for positive things is good)

*I want an ice-cold, eighth draft beer….BUT I don’t need an ice-cold, eighth draft beer. That is, unless Rich is there and we agree to it.

*I want to start exercising and get myself in better shape…BUT I don’t need to start exercising. I feel fine now, and I may pull something.

*I want to tell my parents where my little brother hides his pot…BUT I don’t need to do that. Although, it’d be a helluva good laugh.

*I want to maliciously assault my supervisor with an axe handle…BUT I don’t need to go to prison. I’m too cute for prison.

*I want to purchase the services of a hooker….BUT I don’t….ya know what? This is a bad example for me.

These examples should give better understanding to how The Mental Edge works. Opportunities to use “The Edge” present themselves practically every day. It can be applied to so many facets of life. So, when a situation arises, harness the powers of The Mental Edge!

Show those naysayers that just because you haven’t stopped doing something doesn’t mean that you can’t. Feel good knowing that so long as you possess the power of The Mental Edge, you can easily defeat temptations and addictions. I live by “The Edge,” and look at how fruitful my life is!

So, my advice to everyone is this:

Embrace “The Edge!”