4-Bit Pornography

Original box art to "Custer's Revenge." A screenshot is shown below.



Long before the days of 24-hit combos, 3rd-person shooters, and full-motion video in video games, there was the Atari 2600.

I missed the Atari era by several years, but I am the proud owner of a working Atari 2600 home video game system. While the games still retain fun mostly for their nostalgic value, they were far surpassed with the emergence of the Nintendo Entertainment System in the mid-1980’s.

Despite this, many of the Atari games still hold up. And, with games such as E.T., Frogger, and Barnstorming, Atari demonstrated that video games could provide wholesome family entertainment.

HOWEVER, there was a darker, seedier side to the Atari 2600…a side that had been concealed from much of the gaming public. Third-party game distributors were attempting to corrupt a nation of gamers via pornography.

Atari couldn’t stop the production and distribution of the “adult” video games. Restrictions were not yet in place to control the third-party companies, so they were free to make any type of game they wanted to and distribute them to retailers.

Although the possibility for controversy existed, retailers did sell the games. However, they would often hide these games by keeping them off the shelves and out of view of children, mothers, and senators. Potential purchasers of these would have to request them by name in order to buy.

Here’s a list and short descriptions of some of Atari’s adult-themed video games, with links to screenshots and pics of the original box cover art (you will now be able to see what a penis would look like if reality resembled Atari graphics...in case you were wondering):

*X-Man: Your character is a nude guy, and you must lead him through a timed maze to a door. Behind that door is a naked chick. Once you successfully lead your character to the door, you get a cut scene of the two having sex. Box art

*Bachelor Party: Much like Breakout (or Arkanoid). However, the ball is a nude guy and the paddle is “Spanish Fly.” The blocks you must, ahem, “break,” are represented by nude women. Box art

*Burning Desire: Your character is a nude guy hanging from a helicopter wire. There’s a nude woman on a pedestal and she’s being approached by both fire and angry cannibals. Well, you must put out the fire (use your imagination as to how) and then pull the girl to safety before the cannibals attack her. You accomplish this by lowering yourself and allowing her to bite your penis so that she can then be lifted. ("Burning Desire" is the game pic shown on the bottom. "Bachelorette Party" is on the top.) Box art

*A Knight on the Town: You play as a knight who only wears a helmet. You must place bricks across a moat to reach your fair maiden. If you succeed, bricks aren't all that's getting laid. (It's the pic on the bottom) Box art

*Custer’s Revenge: The most controversial of the lot. Apparently, General Custer survived the Battle of Little Bighorn, and you play as him. The objective of this one is to avoid the arrows being shot at you and cactus plants to get to the Native American girl tied to a pole. Then, once you get to her, you must wiggle your joystick to force sex upon her. This is how you "score" in this game. Box art

*Beat ‘Em and Eat ‘Em: Don’t even ask! Just look this one up… Box art


I suppose the companies responsible for them were banking on the age-old adage that “sex sells.” This may be truer now for these games than when they were first released. These games are now sold on eBay for upwards of $100.

Well, is anyone else turned on?